I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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