Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
