I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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