So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
