coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
