Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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