Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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