her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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