I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
