He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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