My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
