he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
