Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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