Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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