from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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