PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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