He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
