Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize