:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
