You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
