Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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