I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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