just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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