see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
