sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
