i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
