so that wasnt chicken after all
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
