I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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