Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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