Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
