i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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