then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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