After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
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