weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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