I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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