Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
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My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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