I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
