I want to have your abortion
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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