You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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