Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
