After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
