therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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