It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
