Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
