You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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