Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
