now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
