I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
