in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
