is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
