im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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