He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
