you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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