so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
