I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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