I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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