At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
