I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
