I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize