is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
