i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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