btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
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The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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