Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
