How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize